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Third, I don’t think the pain singles experience is intentionally or even knowingly inflicted by most churches. And hopefully, by having an honest conversation, we can help each other see. That being said, here are the top 7 reasons why I think it’s hard to be single in the church. I’ve heard many, many times from church leaders that some people have “the gift of singleness,” which is divinely given and has nothing to do with that person’s free will. I’m definitely open to the possibility — if it’ll allow me to do something for God that I can’t do as a single person.