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Questions to ask when dating christian

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podcast and answered ten questions on singleness and dating.

We get a lot of questions from young Christian men and women who are “not yet married.” Their season of life awakens many desires and hopes, uncertainties and insecurities, and tricky pastoral questions.

Because what I have tragically found is that Christian singles hit an area of desperation, particularly young women, and they will go: “Yeah, he is a Christian, he comes to church.” And really what they’re saying is this guy comes to church a couple of times a month, but outside of attending a service, he doesn’t have a real seriousness about growing in his understanding of the Lord, growing in his understanding of the Bible, being a prayerful person, no vivication or mortification that can be spotted, and no one who really knows them enough to speak to the growth in their character.

Now practically speaking, this means singles are seeking out people to speak into their lives.

It's tough to keep in mind, but if you do end the relationship, over time you will likely find more opportunities.

And so I think the church really serves and helps Christian singles consider marriage and consider dating.

Within the covenant community of faith, there should be those around a person that can speak of their reputation and whether they are serious about growing in the Lord and putting sin to death in their life. Is there seriousness in this person to grow in their relationship and understanding with the Lord?

We put pressure on ourselves and on our dates to have a vision for our future together as soon as possible.

Overthinking the long-term possibilities can cool things off before they even have a chance to get started.

The worst part of dating is often at the very beginning.

First dates can be a big frustration for a lot of people.

"Earlier, you mentioned 18 red flags; my friend only has two of them, so most don't apply to us." That may be true, but even one red flag could make the difference between a wise choice and a disaster when it comes to marriage.

With no disrespect to premarital surveys (I believe in their value), it would be nice if you could simply take a test, identify red flags and green lights, give them a number value, and calculate if you should move forward or not. Many people get married because of a fear of loneliness, of not having anymore chances in life to find love.

But in a day when so much nominalism passes for authentic maturity, give us a few simple marks of spiritual growth that a man or woman should be looking for in a potential spouse.

I think what you are looking for is seriousness about growth in the person’s faith.