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Balance the family photos with you doing something fun—like hanging out at a stadium—so I have a better idea of what our time together will be like.” –James, 42“If the woman’s photos are only with friends, I automatically think she is shy and insecure about her looks.

Man assumes women have it easy because they get a ton of attention.

Guys were full-on spamming my inbox with multiple messages before I could reply to even one asking why I wasn’t responding and what was wrong.

Guys would become hostile when I told them I wasn’t interested in NSA sex, or guys that had started normal and nice quickly turned the conversation into something explicitly sexual in nature.

Sure enough, people who took up a lot of space with their bodies were rated more attractive.

What's more, people who displayed open body language were rated higher on dominance, suggesting that postural expansiveness is attractive because it conveys a sense of power.

And the people in my white hipster bubble I thought I had so much in common with? I grew up in Palo Alto, the predominately white, affluent city in Northern California that’s home to Stanford University.

It was idyllic in some ways—I can’t thank my parents enough for busting their asses through far more intolerant times than my own to make it our home—but being an “other” in a nearly homogeneous community had a profoundly destabilizing effect on my identity.

If you sound like everyone else, I’m going to think you didn’t put any thought into your profile.

The best profiles are short and convey that a girl is open-minded.” –Will, 31“I would bypass a profile if a woman's profile said that a guy ‘needs to make me laugh.’ Don’t just tell me what you need a guy to do for you—emphasize the traits you find most attractive.

Hell, I just gave a TEDx talk about this very thing.

Men scramble to approach women like rats chewing on a meaty chicken bone, and then wonder why women are so turned off by them.