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When it comes to dating a girl, she’d instinctively know you’re hitting on her.

Dating rules during 1st year soberiety

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I do see the importance in seeking help and advice from someone else, whether it be a good friend, sponsor, or therapist, as many of us in early sobriety are still learning to make healthy decisions.

SOBER: Healthy dating in recovery, should look like healthy dating in general.

Much advice is doled out in the rooms of 12-step meetings about relationships in early recovery.

Many times, both partners were drinking and doing drugs, or one was using while the other acted as an enabler.

In fact, we try to respond to all reader comments with a personal and prompt reply.

As eager as you are to rebuild your life, you will do well to take it slow and not make any major changes in at least your first year of sobriety. Early sobriety is a time for you to get to know yourself and learn self-acceptance.

But perhaps dating in addiction recovery isn’t so cut and dry?

Today, we talk with someone who is trying to make dating and social networking easier for people who do not use drugs or alcohol.

The advice to not date or become involved with someone intimately during early recovery is a frequent point of resistance.

People involved in 12-step programs often rely on the “one-year rule” for guidance.

Our work to understand ourselves can be undermined or become convoluted if our efforts are distracted by a budding romance.

New romances are not only distracting they can quickly become all-consuming.

They may initially feel great, but it doesn’t take long before we find ourselves slipping into old patterns, habits and behaviors.

It also becomes very difficult to sort out what are my issues to work on and what are someone else’s.